All abuse is based upon the abuser’s need for power and control of their victim. Domestic violence and physical abuse do not happen without first laying a foundation of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can be insidious and in the beginning stages be difficult to detect, especially if the victim is not aware of the signs of emotional abuse.
Unlike physical abuse, there are no outward marks and bruises that show one is being abused.Emotional abuse has been described as being similar to brain washing in that it alters how victims perceive themselves. Through various means of emotional manipulation and invalidation, emotional abuse systematically destroys the victim’s self-worth, trust in their perceptions, self-confidence and self-concept. If left unchecked eventually the victim will lose all sense of self-worth.
I have a friend, I’m not really sure if its abuse or not. But sometimes I feel sorry for this girl. Even though its just a joke for the guy. Her husband would call her names like “bitch”, Dumb”, Your fat”, or “ugly” “Your only my wife! although it was a form of joke is that emotional abuse? sometimes I heard this girl fighting with her husband for calling her names in front of roommates ( bro in law and sister in law). Lately the guy don’t call her names anymore, just very seldom. There was this instance a few months ago this girl would work overtime for 12hrs 5 days a week for almost a month, is that a form of abuse too? the husband letting the wife too work that hard instead of him doing all the work. Although the guy has a job but I don’t know why the wife works so hard maybe because of the bills to pay, I just feel bad that she’s the one working hard rather than him, due to that overtime she had this sort of stiff shoulder or something for working so hard and I think she requested at her job for sort of a vacation advised by her doctor because of her shoulder. lately this girl doesn’t do overtime anymore due to that incident. And sometimes this guy would sort of pinch her a form of a joke but its just annoying because he always do that. So is this a form of any kind of abuse or its just normal? I hope my identity would remain safe if ever what happends.
It isn’t funny or a joke to be called names by your partner. Name calling is a form of verbal abuse. Financial control can be a form of emotional abuse. Pinching and hitting as a joke, isn’t funny and is physical abuse. The scenarios you describe are not normal, nor are they considered healthy within any dynamic and certainly not within a healthy BDSM dynamic. The scenario you describe sounds like a classic abuse cycle. I would encourage your friend to seek the help of a professional counselor as soon as possible.